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The Bleedin' in Sweden is the series premiere of F is for Family and the first episode of Season 1.

Synopsis

Frank becomes interested about an upcoming boxing match that would be live on TV. He purchases a brand new color television to host a party for him and his neighbors to watch the event. However, upon buying the TV, Bill accidentally breaks it, causing trouble for the Murphys.

Plot

When Frank hears about an upcoming boxing match on TV, he is excited over the idea of inviting his neighbors over to watch it. When he tells his friends however, he finds out they have already been invited over to Vic's house, to watch the fight on his color TV. Frank decides to buy a color TV of his own, using Kevin's college fund to do so.

Meanwhile, Bill is busy with his science project which involves testing a magnet on various surfaces. While he is out with his sister and friends, he runs into several problems such as encountering Mr. Holtenwasser, and later Jimmy Fitzsimmons. Jimmy traps Bill up a tree, shooting at him with a pellet gun. Maureen runs off to find Kevin, who confronts Jimmy and saves Bill.

The next morning Bill places his magnet on the TV, breaking it. Kevin advises him to go back to bed and pretend he doesn't know what happened. Frank and Sue attempt to return the TV, but are turned away and humiliated. They confront the kids and Bill eventually admits what he did. As his punishment, they take him to the electronics store to explain what happened but he is yelled at and dismissed byChuck Sawitzki, prompting Bill to secretly take a magnet to every TV in the store.

Because of this Chuck's father assumes the shipment was defective, and gives the Murphy's a different brand of color TV to make up for it, allowing Frank to have his fight party.

Characters

Major Roles

Minor Roles

Quotes

[Frank comes home from work]
Maureen: Daddy's home!
[Sue sets the table]
Sue: Time for dinner. I made pigs in blankets.
Frank: Oh, my favorite. Thanks, honey.
[Bill enters]
Bill: Dad, do you know anything about magnets?
Frank: A buddy from the war has one in his head. We used to throw paper clips at it. Does that help you?
[Maureen enters]
Maureen: Daddy, I got an "A" on my spelling test!
Frank: Oh, that's wonderful, princess.
[Kevin enters]
Frank: Well, I guess His Royal Highness has finally decided to join us.
Kevin: Yeah, I'm high, all right.
Sue: All right, guys, dig in.
Frank: Oh, so I gotta tell ya, the funniest thing happened at work today. Ed calls a mandatory meeting, we go to the break room, and he's just bragging about his new tie. [chuckles] So then I says to Ed-
[phone rings, interrupting frank]
Frank: [annoyed] Jesus Christ.

Frank: [cold] Murphy residence. [angry] Oh let me tell you something you goddamn son of a bitch. I don't need a goddamn engraved family bible. [to Sue] You see? You see? What did I say? Every goddamn time! [back on the phone] I am eating dinner with my family young man! I don't need a $25 bible to teach me about God. I almost bled out in Korea! Alright? I HAVE MET GOD! [a short pause when the salesman insults Frank] WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?! OH YOU COME DOWN HERE, YOU SAY THAT TO ME LIKE A MAN! I SWEAR TO GOD I'LL PULL YOUR TONGUE OUT THROUGH YOUR GODDAMN NECK!!! [struggling to put the phone back on the wall] WHY DO THEY HAVE TO PUT THE GODDAMN THINGS ON THE WALL?!!!
Sue: Frank, calm down.
Frank: [mocks Sue] Yeah, "Frank, calm down. Calm down", it's always "Frank, calm down"! WHY IS IT ALWAYS ME SUSAN?! HOW ABOUT A LITTLE SUPPORT?! HUH?! (goes to the garage) WOULD THAT KILL YA?!
Sue: [sighs and then quietly laughs to relieve stress] [to the kids] So, how was school?

Frank: [punching his punching bag] Goddamn punk, calling me at supper. Huh? Huh? Won't even come to my door like a man?!
Phillip: Hi Mr. Murphy. Can Billy come out and play?
Frank: GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!!!

Colt: [intent] Sometimes a man's gotta do ...
Frank: [in unison with Colt] ... what a man does.

[Kevin bikes off to go see Claire]
Frank: Hey, you stay away from that loose girl down on River Street. I don't want any half-slut grandkids.
Kevin: [defiant] We're not doing anything.
Frank: Neither was I. That's how you got here!
Goomer: That's a fine boy you got there, Frank.
Frank: [rubbing his temples] Ah, he's a fuckin' animal.

[Kenny sucks on a magnet]
Kenny: Tastes like mama's gun.

Vic: Hey, Frank, it'd be righteous if you joined us to watch the fight at my house. Thirty-two inches of living color.
Babe: [looks at Vic's crotch] Thirty-two inches? That's pretty big.
Vic: [points to his face] Up here, Babe.
Frank: Well, thanks, but you're a little late. Everyone in the neighborhood is already coming over to watch the fight on my new color set. It's 33 inches.
Vic: They make 'em that size?
Frank: They do for me.

Goomer: Eh, Frank, I look through your window every night and I've never seen a color TV.

[Maureen rolls in a barrel down into a wall]
Maureen: That was bitchin'! [vomits]

Sue: Frank, why did you do that? We can't afford a big color TV.
Frank: Well, I can't afford not to have one now. Things were said in that driveway that cannot be unsaid.
Sue: This is all the money we have saved in the world. It's Kevin's college fund.
Frank: Come on, Sue. We both know Kevin's not going to college.

[Kevin and Claire make out]
Kevin: Come on, just touch it a little.
Claire: No.
Kevin: I won't tell anybody.
Claire: No.
Kevin: Then let me touch you.
Claire: No.
Kevin: [desperate] Come on, you're so pretty and you're so cool, and I really like you, and you're the only one I want to touch it.
Claire: All right, but only over your pants.
Kevin: Oh, thank you so much.
[Before Claire can touch Kevin, Maureen rushes in]
Maureen: Kevin! Billy's getting killed by some big kids!
Kevin: Now!? Son of a bitch!
[Kevin squashes Claire's breasts and runs off to save Bill]

Frank: Kids, this right here is an example of what can be yours if you're willing to work hard and go the extra mile to give your family the nice things in life. You are not to touch this unless I say so, and I am never gonna say so.

TV Announcer: Good morning. Channel 9 begins its broadcast day with What It Is? A discussion of today's issues facing today's black community, today. With your host, Jim Jeffords.
Jim: A happy Sunday to all. So how do you people feel about these election results? I mean, now that the Civil Rights era has drawn to a close and we're all equal now. You know, not that you're going to be marrying my daughter or anything.
Ms. Unchacka: You have an interesting way of phrasing things, Mr. Jeffords.
Jim: Thank you, Ms. Unchacka.
Ms. Unchancka: It wasn't a compliment.

Kevin: What the hell are you doing?
Bill: I put the magnet on the TV and now I can't make it go back!
Kevin: See? This is what doing your homework gets you.

Kevin: Play dead or you will be.

F is for family
Frank: So, uh... how we gonna do this? Refund, new set?
Chuck: So what happened here? Pour water down the back?
Frank: Why do people keep asking me that? Why on Earth would I pour water down the back of my own television set?
Chuck: Okay, look, sir...
Frank: You call me "sir" like you mean it.
Chuck: This TV worked perfectly when it left the store, so we're not responsible.
Frank: Not responsible? I spent $640 on this thing.
Chuck: Then you should've sprung the extra five on the warranty (chuckles).
Frank: [irrated] Let me tell you something you goddamn son of a bitch.
Sue: Now, Frank...
Frank: [interrupts and mocks Sue] "Now Frank, now Frank" nothing! I am gonna speak! (angrily) You think you can put on a pair of slacks and talk to a grown man like that? Well, do ya? This is not how business is done. I am a customer of this store of long-standing. I bought a radio back here when there was no TV and you, sir, were still in your dad's balls! (shouting) NOW I HAVE BEEN WRONGED IN THIS TRANSACTION! GET OFF OF ME! I HAVE BEEN WRONGED IN THIS TRANSACTION AND I HAVE FOURTEEN PEOPLE, AN ENTIRE CUL-DE-SAC, COMING TO MY HOME TONIGHT TO WATCH THE FIGHT ON MY COLOR TELEVISION! SO YOU NEED TO RECTIFY THIS SITUATION! NOW WHAT DO YOU PLAN ON DOING ABOUT IT?!
Chuck: Tell you what I can do (walks to the entrance door). I'll hold the door open for you, so you can carry it back to the car.
[Frank and Sue drive away, humiliated; Frank still remains pissed about being embarrassed at Sawitzki and Son]
Sue: Maybe you should've gotten the warranty.

Frank: Did you break my TV?
Bill: [worried] No.
Frank: Did you break my TV?
Kevin: [serious] No.
Frank: Did he break my TV?
Bill: [worried] No.
Frank: Did he break my TV?!
Kevin: [serious] No.
Frank Who broke my TV?
Kevin: We don't know.
Frank: One of you is a liar. Are you a liar?
Kevin: I DIDN'T DO IT!
Sue: All right. So that's how it's gonna be? Very well. We will sit here all day until one of you respects us enough to tell the truth.
[suspenseful pause]
Bill: [about to fess up and completely nervous] Dad ...
Kevin: [interrupting Bill] I did it. I broke your new TV.
Frank: You did!?
Kevin: Yeah, it was me!
Frank: Ah-ha! I knew it! How!?
Kevin: I poured water down it.
Frank: [sputters] Poured water? Why the hell would you pour water down it?! I'll tell you why. 'Cause you got no respect, that's why.
Kevin: [smug] Oh, yeah? Well guess what, genius? I didn't do it!
Frank: [confused but still angry] Wha-You didn't? Then why the hell would you tell me you did?!
Kevin: BECAUSE I FUCKING HATE YOU!!!

[Bill admits to breaking the TV]
Bill: [sobbing] I'm sorry, Dad. I didn't mean it.
Frank: [quietly] ... I can't look at you right now. I might kill you. It's not so much that you broke my TV. It's that you lied to me.
Sue: We are taking you right down to that store, and you are gonna march right up to that salesman and apologize for what you did, and for making your father humiliate himself. There were so many people we knew in that store.
Frank: [irritated] Oh, Sue, for the love of Christ!

Dick: The Pattonhouse is a better model. The Sonabishi is good, but we must've got a bad bunch from overseas. Those Orientals don't do good work. Their hands are too small.

[Sue and Frank are in the car, after getting a new TV]
Sue: What happened in there?
Frank: Well I know what happened. I know exactly what happened ... [happy] I finally won one! I won! [yelling] You hear that, world? Frank Murphy's not a loser! Frank Murphy's a wi-
[A truck drives right toward Frank's car and he swerves out of the way, just narrowly avoiding an accident]
Frank: Whoa! Watch it! Ha-ha! Those Koreans will never kill me!

Frank: Hey, your hero Vic is over there watching it alone.
[Vic is shown watch TV alone]
Frank: [scoffs] Some party.
[Two girls lift their heads up next to Vic on both sides of the couch, implying that they were both giving him oral sex]
Goomer: [disengenuine] Yeah, poor guy.

[Frank gets a phone call, telling him that Ed just died]
Sue: Who died?
Frank: My boss, Ed. There was an accident at the airport.
Sue: Oh, my God, are you serious?
Frank: They want me to come in early tomorrow to cover his shift. Sue, I think I just got promoted to management.
Sue: I think you did, too.
Frank: [optimistic] You know what? I think our luck is finally turning around.
Sue: [shocked] Jesus, Frank, a man is dead!
Frank: [calm] Yeah, but he was kind of a dick.
Sue: [even more shocked] Frank!
Frank: [still calm and casual] You know, if this had happened a week ago, we could've got a bigger TV.

Kevin: Guys, I'm trying to sleep!
Frank: THEN CLOSE YOUR EYES AND SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!

Trivia

  • Title Reference: The upcoming boxing match involving Irish Mickey Ireland, which references his previous loss called "The Bleedin' in Sweden".
  • It's established that the series takes place in 1973.

Cultural References

  • The Rumble in the Jungle (1974) - the legendary boxing match between George Foreman and Muhammed Ali is alluded to / parodied with the fight and episode title.

Errors

  • In the scene where Bill gets his magnet stuck to the Nazi neighbor's door, in almost every shot, the position of the magnet on the number label changes.
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