"Hey! 'What are you FUCKERS doin, SITTING AROUND?!?! GET BACK TO WORK!"
- Scoop Dunbarton‘s first lines.

The newspaper article that killed Mr. Dunbarton, describing scoop's accident

Scoop Dunbarton was a recurring character and antagonist of Season 2 on F is for Family. He was voiced by John DiMaggio.

Character Edit

Scoop was an alcoholic Minor League Baseball player until he had to retire due to being kicked in the head by a horse (which crushed his skull and left him with a large depression on the side of his head) leaving him with permanent brain damage. He was the nephew of Roger Dunbarton, who brought him in as Frank's replacement after he was fired.

Before his injury, Scoop was despised for his reckless behavior, excessive drinking, and his attempts to re-segregate baseball.

Scoop was vastly despised by all of the Airport employees because of the fact that he was very rude and condescending towards them. In addition he had: uncontrollable anger, sporadic mood swings, and lack of reasonable thought, endangered other employees all over the airport.

In the Season 2 finale, after being drugged and stuffed into a luggage bag by Frank and the airline employees, Scoop eventually regained consciousness and beat up the African-American terrorists. Though while he celebrated his victory, Scoop accidentally stepped on the suitcase with a bomb in it and was killed by the explosion, which blew his lower body right off. The laminated newspaper article describing his accident with the horse (named "Big Harold") flew off and slit the throat of his uncle, Mr. Dunbarton, killing him.


Scoop's personality could be best described as: intensely reckless, thoughtless, selfish, hateful, abusive, explosive, irrational, sour, psychotic, immature, highly racist, foolish, delusional, misanthropic and all-around incompetent. This is partly because of his head injury which he got from the horse.

Both the minor leagues and Mohican hated him because of his unpleasant nature. For a major league prick just like his uncle angry with his own things as he was a hero. Scoop should have been in a mental institution instead of working.

Episode Appearances Edit

Quotes Edit

  • "Scoop: One of you frog parties fix this! TAKE SOME FUCKIN' INITIATIVE!!!"

Scoop Dunbarton threatening people.

  • "Frank: That was Scoop? He... His... dent."
  • "Rosie: One night in St. Louis, he got drunk after throwing a no-hitter and got kicked in the head trying to carve his name into the back of a Clydesdale."
  • "Frank: You keep a clipping of it?"
  • "Rosie: We don't."
  • "Scoop: Get your mits off my 'me-paper', frog fucker. (walks away & closes the door) GUAAAAAH!"

Scoop taking back his newspaper from Frank. Frank asking Rosie about Scoop getting drunk.

  • "Scoop: All hands on deck! This is not a drill! WE ARE BEING INVADED!!!"

Scoop Dunbarton

  • "Bob: "JESUS, SCOOP! "Finders keepers" doesn't apply to lost children!"
  • "Scoop: You're intimidated by my leadership skills. I see everything! (Scoop and Bob got hit by an immigrant.) FUCKIN' IMMIGRANTS!"

Scoop telling Bob he was intimidated by his leadership skills.

  • "Bob: Dunbarton gave your job to his shit for brains nephew, Scoop."
  • "Frank: Scoop Dunbarton? I remember him wasn't he in the minor leagues?
  • "Bob: Yeah, and a major league prick! Just a miserable human being. He launched a one-man crusade to re-segregate baseball!"

Bob telling Frank what happened with Scoop taking his job.

  • "Bob: It's a living nightmare! Look at that six foot, two inch, toddler, Dunbarton expect me to babysit. He sorts luggage by race! My blood pressure is spiking! And thanks to this crash diet I'm on, I've passed enough kidney stones to fill the bottom of a fish tank."

Bob seeing Scoop Dunbarton on TV.

  • "Scoop: GO BACK TO AFRICA!!!!"

Scoop throws suitcases in an airplane.

  • "Scoop: WHO WANTS ICE CREAM?!"
  • "Bob: NO!!!! It burns!! The ice cream BURNS!!!! *screams*"

Scoop spraying Bob with a fire extinguisher.

  • "Bob: Here's the coffee you wanted."
  • "Scoop: I didn't ask for no beanjuice. NOW GIVE ME MY BEANJUICE!!!"

Bob giving Scoop the coffee.

  • "Bob: Have fun in Duluth, Scoop,"
  • "Rosie: Don't forget your 'me-paper', ya racist fuck."

Bob, Frank and Rosie stuffing a drugged Scoop in a bag onto a plane

  • "Scoop: Hey! How did this plane get in my apartment? Wha... (grunts and got bumped in the head.)"
  • "Dunbarton: THAT'S MY NEPHEW!!!"
  • "FBI Agent: Sweet Jesus! Those butchers are maming hostages!"
  • "Scoop: You dirty trickers... give me a sleepy coffee!"
  • "Frank: Ah shit."
  • "Bob: Time to call my brother in law."
  • "Scoop: No hair-dryers on the tarmac! (Scoop begins to take on all the hijackers and hits one hijacker with a suitcase.)"
  • "Jefferson Davis: THE BOMB! (He got hit.)"

Scoop begining to take on the hijackers.

  • Scoop: Huh? (seeing people cheering, and getting happy with the most excited part of a Major League) THANK YOU, BASEBALL FANS!!! (cheering scoop with all the hijackers defeated) Re-segregate now! It's what white god wants!

Scoop happily cheerful with all the people shortly before his demise.

  • Dunbarton: MURPHY!
  • Frank: Ah Shit.
  • Dunbarton: You accidental ejaculations thought you can get rid of MY NEPHEW BY STASHING HIM ON A PLANE?! He's a Dunbarton! Your genetic superior!
  • Dunbarton: I will see you rot in a dungeon, and your CHILDREN WILL MAKE MY UNDERWEAR IN A CAMBODIAN SWEATSHOP! And I will wear it once, THROW IT OUT!!! AND DEMAND MORE!!!!
  • Scoop: SCOOP-A-TY-DOOPTY... (steps on bomb and immediately explodes)

Dunbarton threatening Frank about his Nephew to stash him.

Trivia Edit

  • According to the newspaper article, Scoop had a "big heart", which was ironic considering his actual personality.
  • He's alcoholic despite never drinking on screen, so it's possible he stopped after his accident.
  • Despite his death being graphically painful, he didn't feel anything because of his head injury. It was more painful for everyone who witnessed his death.
  • Also according to the newspaper, Scoop was left-handed (the beginning of the article labels him as an LHP (left-handed pitcher) and his photo reflects that).
  • The newspaper also said that one time in Palm Beach, Florida, he jumped from an 11 story balcony into a pool of beer. He survived the jump, drank a qaurter of the pool and hit 10 strikeouts a few hours later.


Community content is available under CC-BY-SA unless otherwise noted.