"Re-segregate now! It's what white god wants!"
|—Scoop Dunbarton‘s final line before his death.|
Scoop Dunbarton was a recurring character and the main antagonist of Season 2 on F is for Family.
Scoop was an alcoholic Minor League Baseball player until he had to retire due to being kicked in the head by a horse (which crushed his skull and left him with a large depression on the side of his head) leaving him with permanent brain damage. He was the nephew of Roger Dunbarton, who brought him in as Frank's replacement after he was fired.
Before his injury, Scoop was despised for his reckless behavior, excessive drinking, and his attempts to re-segregate baseball.
Scoop was vastly despised by all of the Airport employees because of the fact that he was very rude and condescending towards them. In addition he had: uncontrollable anger, sporadic mood swings, and lack of reasonable thought, endangered other employees all over the airport. His extreme irrationality and mentally unstable behavior caused Bob to regret firing Frank and even stated that Roger was a fool to fire Frank.
In the Season 2 finale, the airline employees had enough of Scoop and tried to get Frank back so they decided to get rid of Scoop. After being drugged (in retaliation for "stealing" Frank's job and wreaking havoc and stuffed into a luggage bag by Frank and the airline employees, Scoop eventually regained consciousness and beat up the African-American terrorists. Though while he celebrated his victory, Scoop accidentally stepped on the suitcase with a bomb in it and was killed by the explosion, which blew his lower body right off. The laminated newspaper article describing his accident with the horse (named "Big Harold") flew off and slit the throat of his uncle, Mr. Dunbarton, killing him.
Arguably the three best words to describe Scoop are: incompetent, irrational and immature. This is partly because of his head injury which he got from the horse and his desire to re-segregate baseball.
Both the minor leagues and Mohican hated him because of his unpleasant nature. It's ironic to think he was once described as having a "big heart" let alone having a heart in the first place. This can be indicated by how he typically has a dissatisfied or angry look on face such as when he is first seen. It's never reveled what led Scoop down such a terrible path.
Scoop is typically compared to his greedy uncle and boss Roger Dunbarton because both of them are antagonists from the same family and both of them are self-centered, egotistical, short-tempered and cruel pricks. However unlike Roger, Scoop was brainless, xenophobic, sour and incompetent. While Roger was more so Witty, duplicitous, more so arrogant than sour and also caring about his company and job but not his workers.
- Heavy Sledding (cameo on the TV non-speaking)
- A Girl Named Sue (first identified as Scoop Dunbarton)
- Night Shift
- This Is Not Good
- Fight Night
- Landing The Plane (his death)
- Are You Ready For The Summer (mentioned)
- Paul Lynde to Block (brief flashback)
- Just Breathe (photo)
- "Scoop: HEY! What are you FUCKERS doin' SITTING AROUND!?!? GET BACK TO WORK!
Scoop's first words after his injury.
- "Scoop: One of you frog parties fix this! TAKE SOME FUCKIN' INITIATIVE!!!"
Scoop Dunbarton threatening people.
- "Frank: That was Scoop? He... His... dent."
- "Rosie: One night in St. Louis, he got drunk after throwing a no-hitter and got kicked in the head trying to carve his name into the back of a Clydesdale."
- "Frank: You keep a clipping of it?"
- "Rosie: We don't."
- "Scoop: Get your mits off my 'me-paper', frog fucker. (walks away & closes the door) GUAAAAAH!"
Scoop taking back his newspaper from Frank. Frank asking Rosie about Scoop getting drunk.
- "Scoop: All hands on deck! This is not a drill! WE ARE BEING INVADED!!!"
- "Bob: "JESUS, SCOOP! "Finders keepers" doesn't apply to lost children!"
- "Scoop: You're intimidated by my leadership skills. I see everything! (Scoop and Bob got hit by an immigrant.) FUCKIN' IMMIGRANTS!"
Scoop telling Bob he was intimidated by his leadership skills.
- "Bob: Dunbarton gave your job to his shit for brains nephew, Scoop."
- "Frank: Scoop Dunbarton? I remember him wasn't he in the minor leagues?
- "Bob: Yeah, and a major league prick! Just a miserable human being. He launched a one-man crusade to re-segregate baseball!"
Bob telling Frank what happened with Scoop taking his job.
- "Bob: It's a living nightmare! Look at that six foot, two inch, toddler, Dunbarton expect me to babysit. He sorts luggage by race! My blood pressure is spiking! And thanks to this crash diet I'm on, I've passed enough kidney stones to fill the bottom of a fish tank."
Bob seeing Scoop Dunbarton on TV.
- "Scoop: GO BACK TO AFRICA!!!!"
Scoop throws suitcases in an airplane.
- "Scoop: WHO WANTS ICE CREAM?!"
- "Bob: NO!!!! It burns!! The ice cream BURNS!!!! *screams*"
Scoop spraying Bob with a fire extinguisher.
- "Bob: Here's the coffee you wanted."
- "Scoop: I didn't ask for no beanjuice. NOW GIVE ME MY BEANJUICE!!!"
Bob giving Scoop the coffee.
- "Bob: Have fun in Duluth, Scoop,"
- "Rosie: Don't forget your 'me-paper', ya racist fuck."
Bob, Frank and Rosie stuffing a drugged Scoop in a bag onto a plane
- "Scoop: Hey! How did this plane get in my apartment? Wha... (grunts and got bumped in the head.)"
- "Dunbarton: THAT'S MY NEPHEW!!!"
- "FBI Agent: Sweet Jesus! Those butchers are already maiming hostages!"
- "Scoop: You dirty trickers! Gave me a sleepy coffee!"
- "Frank: Ah shit."
- "Bob: Time to call my brother in law."
- "Scoop: No hair-dryers on the tarmac! (Scoop begins to take on all the hijackers and hits one hijacker with a suitcase.)"
- "Jefferson Davis: THE BOMB! (He got hit.)"
Scoop beginning to take on the hijackers.
- Scoop: Huh? (seeing people cheering, and getting happy with the most excited part of a Major League) THANK YOU, BASEBALL FANS!!! (cheering scoop with all the hijackers defeated) Re-segregate now! It's what white god wants!
Scoop happily cheerful with all the people shortly before his demise.
- Roger: MURPHY!
- Frank: Ah Shit.
- Roger: You accidental ejaculations thought you can get rid of MY NEPHEW BY STASHING HIM ON A PLANE?! He's a Dunbarton! Your genetic superior!
- Scoop: (chanting to the tune of "Charge!") SCOOP SCOOP SCOOP SCOOP SCOOP SCOOP SCOOP SCOOP SCOOP SCOOP SCOOP SCOOP SCOOP SCOOP SCOOP SCOOP SCOOP SCOOP SCOOP SCOOP SCOOP SCOOP SCOOP! SCOOP SCOOP SCOOP SCOOP SCOOP SCOOP SCOOP...
- Roger: I will see you rot in a dungeon, and your CHILDREN WILL MAKE MY UNDERWEAR IN A CAMBODIAN SWEATSHOP! And I will wear it once, THROW IT OUT!!! AND DEMAND MORE!!!!
- Scoop: SCOOP-A-TY-DOOPTY... (steps on bomb and immediately explodes)
Dunbarton threatening Frank about his Nephew to stash him.
- According to the newspaper article, Scoop had a "big heart", which was ironic, considering his actual personality. However, this could have referred to how he was before the accident.
- He's alcoholic despite never drinking on screen, so it's possible he stopped after his accident or he drank offscreen.
- Despite his death being graphically painful, he didn't feel anything because of his head injury. It was more painful for everyone who witnessed his death.
- It's never revealed how Scoop became racist. Although his racism played a huge part in his life. He could have become this when he had his head injury.
- Also according to the newspaper, Scoop was left-handed (the beginning of the article labels him as an LHP (left-handed pitcher) and his photo reflects that).
- The newspaper also said that one time in Palm Beach, Florida, he jumped from an 11 story balcony into a pool of beer. He survived the jump, drank a quarter of the pool and hit 10 strikeouts a few hours later.