"Ooh, apology! Somebody went to college!"
- Mr. Fitzsimmons to Frank.
Mr. Fitzsimmons is a Minor Antagonist in F is for Family. He is the janitor of the town's elementary school and is also the father of Jimmy and Bridget Fitzsimmons. It's also revealed he drives a school bus. After seeing his Son being sucker-punched by Bill and being told that Bill was trying to force Jimmy to rob the Church (which was the other way around), Mr. Fitzsimmons, alongside his children, have developed a hatred towards the Murphy Family, thus leading to a rivalry between the two families.
However, this rivalry is settled in Season 4 when Frank suddenly volunteered for being the assistant coach of the hockey team beside Mr. Fitzsimmons. During this time, Mr. Fitzsimmons becomes neglectful of his son and becomes more interested in Bill, but this is later resolved when Bill intentionally gets seated into the bench, letting Jimmy take over the spotlight.
He is voiced by Joe Buck.
Mr. Fitzsimmons is first seen while he is working at the school; we see him cheering Jimmy on as he fights Bill urging him to kick Bill's ass. He is also seen chanting with the other students in calling Bill a pussy. When the vice principle says Bill has a date with the principle after the other students say why don't he marry 'Mr. Stalker' Mr Fitzsimmons says bill should 'Have a baby with him' and the students roar with laughter at Bill.
The second time is when he picks a fight with the Murphy's over Jimmy's black eye. He believes Jimmy's story that Bill was trying to force him to rob the church, and this is probably supported by the fact that when he saw Jimmy and Bill fighting at school Bill started it by sucker punching him. Maureen tells Jimmy to go away and Jimmy states that Maureen tried to gouge his eyes out. Mr. Fitzsimmons angrily asks Frank if all his kids are psycho. Frank angrily says that nobody calls his kids a psycho except him and demands an apology, Mr Fitzimmons sarcastically mocks Frank and says somebody went to college, Frank says he didn't go to college he went to Korea, Mr. Fitzimmons tells him he should have stayed there and calls him a piece of shit. Sue tells him to watch his mouth, Mr Fitzsimmons rudely tells Sue to mind her own business calling her a 'Nosey Fucking Bitch', which prompts the fight between the Fitzsimmons and Murphy's, which end when Mr. Fitzsimmons is nearly strangled by Skeeball and then hit in the stomach by Sue yelling at him and Jimmy to 'get the fuck off her lawn', The Fitzsimmons retreat yelling that the whole Murphy family is crazy.
In Season 2, Mr. Fitzsimmons is shown beating Jimmy with a belt and dragging Jimmy to catholic military school when he's told about the shoplifting, and again when he's picking Jimmy up. He makes another brief appearance dragging Jimmy away as he is beating up Phillip and yells at Jimmy for 'beating up little fat girls' even though Phillip is a boy and that he should kick his ass. He makes a brief cameo in his home during the finale, where he's sleeping on the couch in the background, likely passed out from drinking beer.
In Season 3 Mr Fitzsimmons appears to clean the public pool after Phillip contaminated the pool with his over applied sunscreen and puts toxic chemicals into the pull telling the kids do not swallow or open their eyes in the water and tells Bridget they have to go and fish out a still born possum out of the Eastside pool but Bridget wants to have a swim saying 'fuck those Eastside dick blisters'. Mr Fitzsimmons then yells out "Well then fuck your mother and fuck you too!" everyone looks at him in shock but he then says its okay and that she is his daughter. It is revealed that Mr. Fitzsimmons is an alcoholic, that is prone to lashing out as said by Bridget when she said her dad broke a table, breathed a bunch of booze on her before shitting himself and passing out. He then appears very drunk holding a bottle of bourbon in his hand demanding who Bridget was talking to (Bill Murphy) and she angrily said she was talking to him before calling him a bloated boozebag. He also reveals his virulent racist tendencies while watching "There's a Fairy On My Shoulder", commenting that he'd "make Mick Bull Connor look like fuckin Santa Claus" if the black fairy from the show tried sitting on his shoulder.
Mr. Fitzsimmons personality is best described as a Callous, arrogant, abusive, thuggish, dangerous, cruel, nasty, loathsome, cowardly, harsh-tempered, sarcastic, hateful, selfish and somewhat naïve old man.
Like his children, he is generally rude and unempathetic as seen when he insulted Frank and called Sue a bitch in front of their Kids. Also when he sprayed a cleaning product in Phillip's face to stop him from cheering on Bill.
Not only is Fitzsimmons unkind and selfish but is also fairly dangerous as shown by his quick temper and disregard for others. This includes pouring toxic chemicals into a swimming pool and the fact that he is an unstable alcoholic. Although he may be not be irrational like Scoop he is always shown to be a thorn in the neighborhood.
- "Jimmy James Fitzsimmons, get in this fucking car! Yeah, you've seen the light. Beating up little fat girls, I ought to kick your ass!"
- "What are ya waiting for!!! Kick his ass, Jimmy!!!!!!"
- "Ooh, apology! Somebody went to college!"
- "Yeah and then have a baby with him!"
- "If that little bastard tried to sit on my shoulder, I'd blast him with a fire hose. Make Bull Connor look like fuckin' Santa Claus."
- "You thieving little shit!!! Stealing hockey sticks now?"
- "Well then fuck your mother and fuck you too!!!!"
- "What the shit!!!!!"
- "Mind your own business you fucking nosy bitch,"
- "You're whole family's crazy!!!!"
- "Christ are all your kids psycho?"
- "You should have stayed there you piece of shit"
- "Get off my lawn Murphy!!!!!"
- "Fuck you!"
- "(to Bridget) Just tell me the truth, Sweet Pea. Daddy won't be mad. Did you kill the boy?"
- "At least I got all my kids, asshole!"