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"Yeah, the thing is, actually, it's... it's a little delicate, but uh... we've already been invited to watch the fight over at, uh... at Vic's.

- Goomer telling Frank he's watching the fight with Vic instead

Walter Bartnett is a criminal who took the name Goomer G. Goomer or Mr. Goomer. He is one of the Murphy's neighbors, and a friend of Frank's. He is voiced by Trevor Devall.

Biography[]

Goomer on the surface appears to be an average middle class American, though he actually hides some rather troubling behavior. He appeared in the first episode, where Frank tries to one-up Vic in the eyes of his neighbours by buying a color TV. Subsequently, Goomer makes minor appearances throughout the season, usually to point out something obvious going on with one of the main characters (e.g. "Hey, Frank. Did you think I was Sue?" "Heya Billy, filled with rage at something?" "Bite off more then you could chew, Sue?")

Goomer and his wife Evelyn once tried to have a baby, though it ended in a miscarriage. This devastated the couple, both grieving the loss for years. In fact, Goomer still keeps all the unused baby shoes meant for their unborn child.

“[Goomer] still tells people it was food poisoning.” - Evelyn telling friends the lie Goomer tells people to cope with the miscarriage.

It was just bad clams! -Goomer jokes at the Fourth of July block party when Evelyn sadly references their miscarriage passively, a call back to his running lie.

He has an unsettling habit of wiping his dog's bottom with toilet paper, and then sniffing it. Pretty much all of his behavior is unsettling.

Goomer also implies once that he had some type of dream he had to give up on. Perhaps it was fatherhood.

He is one of the phone numbers taped above the Murphy's telephone, and he was present at their Christmas Eve party and the Fourth of July block party.

Stalking And Other Odd Behavior[]

Spying[]

Goomer loves to spy on his neighbors, either through a window or from his own porch.

In his first appearance he mentions offhandedly that he looks in the Murphy's living room window every night. He can also be seen later, staring at Sue as she is she tries to put the Christmas tree up.

He can often be seen peering though windows.

Because of his spying, Goomer always knows everyone's business and personal details. Such as knowing the exact number of underwear Frank's father packed, his underwear habits and using this to determine how long he'd be away for.

He may be sexually motivated in his spying as well. The box he buries in the woods contains a photo of Frank on the toilet, a photo of Frank and Sue about to have sex, and a photo of Kevin dry humping the water heater.

Bestiality[]

Goomer can be seen by Smokey Greenwood wiping his dog while walking it and smelling the feces.

As well, in the box he buries in the woods is a pornographic magazine titled,” Dogs in Heat: Interracial edition” depicting dogs having sex on the front cover.

He also makes a sexually implicit comment about Major when asked by the Murphy’s to house sit, though Goomer believed Major was a girl.

And don’t you worry about Ginger here. I’ll take good care of her, too. -Goomer to Frank regarding Major.

However, after finding out Major is a boy he immediately loses interest.

Property Destruction[]

In Mr. Murphy's Wild Ride, while the neighbors are talking about their accomplishments, Holtenwasser said he built seven latrines in one afternoon, and Goomer responded by saying he once destroyed seven latrines in one afternoon.

Breaking and Entering[]

Goomer frequently breaks into his neighbors homes. Sometimes wearing their clothing and pretending to be them, other times just snooping or stealing.

We see him wearing Frank's clothes and acting as him (lying to Evelyn that Frank had been stealing his clothes for years when caught dancing with Sue’s wedding dress), dressing as Mr. Holtenwasser and answering his phone (claiming to be feeding Mrs. Holtenwasser’s ashes) and sitting on Kevin's bed with Kevin's guitar in hand (smelling Kevin’s combs).

He tells Cutie Pie he knows which window in Vic's house is always unlocked.

In the Murphy home we see some "IOU" notes from him in Sue's secret money stash behind the fridge. He also pasted his own face over Frank's in a family photo album.

Bathroom Habits[]

Goomer can be seen sneakily defecating on his neighbors lawns and in the woods. He blames this on a bear.

It looks like that sick bear came back to the woods Goomer jokingly to Frank after defecating in the woods, newspaper in hand.

On a lesser note, one might make the connection that if he is blaming the defecation on a bear there can’t be any paper used to wipe found with the feces. When he buries his box of strange items in the woods, he takes off and buries his shorts and underwear as well. His underwear had a huge feces stain in them, contributing to this realization that he simply doesn’t wipe perhaps ever.

His bathroom habits may also be linked to sexual intent. At the drive in movie theater, when Bill takes Maureen to the bathroom Frank warns them that there are creeps out there. Immediately Goomer calls out from far behind, “Kids gotta go to the bathroom, Frank?” As well as taking Polaroids of Frank using the toilet while spying.

But most importantly, his habits have been lifelong. Goomer recalls once when his father caught him peeing in the yard, his father drove him up to a farm and made him pee on an electric fence as punishment. This sadly didn't have much of an effect on him.

Identity Theft[]

In the season 5 finale, he is revealed to be a criminal whose real name is Walter Bartnett, and that Goomer is only a false name and identity.

Possible Murderer[]

Some of Goomer's behavior seems to point to him being a serial killer. Frank once lent Goomer "rope, shovel, hacksaw, duct tape, and... quicklime" (which he thought was for weeds).

Goomer was once seen patting down a human-sized square patch of grass on his front lawn with a shovel. He also bleaches the walls of his trailer before letting Big Bill use it, and was shown carrying a dead raccoon around.

Overall[]

You’re strange.

-Alice Goldman comments uncomfortably to Goomer while leaving after finding Goomer in Kevin’s basement, smelling his combs.

The kids, Alice, Karen/“Cutie Pie”, and Vic have all noticed how creepy Goomer is and make frequent references to it, although their reactions suggest they are more bewildered than concerned by his behavior on most occasions. Of all the characters, it is Smokey that seems to be the most visibly disturbed by his antics, after witnessing Goomer smelling his dog's excrement in his rear view mirror. The other neighbors, mainly Frank and Evelyn, are blissfully ignorant of the obvious warning signs (the former finds it to be silly antics or strangely endearing).

It is possible that some of his unusual behavior has come to the attention of the authorities. In the third episode of series two, Maureen mentions that the police had been talking to Goomer earlier that day. A news story is shown later that evening about a missing woman, followed on Sunday by a newspaper headline that reads: “Missing ketchup heiress found dead; negros blamed,” but this may be purely coincidental.

He may have a particular obsession with Kevin. When he sees Kevin come home, he cracks open a beer and mentions that things are getting more interesting. Though, this comment was most likely because Kevin had rode his bike home shirtless, cursing loudly, after striking out with Haircut Girl. He also tells Kevin not to give up in his dreams, and later he tries to discourage Kevin from committing suicide while telling him he has "so much to live for", while pressing his entire body against the glass of the window he is spying on him from. Naturally, this creeps Kevin out.

However, all this being said we see in the episode Summer Vacation, while he is house sitting for the Murphy’s and parading about in Frank’s clothes he eats at their table with photos of Sue, Bill, Maureen, and Kevin. He nicely pretends to feed each photo except for Kevin’s, which he aggressively smacks off the table. This is most likely a nod to how Frank does his best to tolerate Kevin but just doesn’t understand or like him, despite loving his son.

Episode Appearances[]

Trivia[]

  • His phone number is [7429|412 7429]
  • It is possible that Goomer is secretly Arthur Leigh Allen, aka The top suspect in the Zodiac killings of 1969-1972. Both Goomer and Allen are balding and overweight.
  • Goomer appears to reference several other animated adult-orientated sitcoms
    • He also highly resembles a balding and overweight version of Hank Hill
  • Goomers father died after being electrocuted by an electric fence Goomer peed on after he found him peeing on their yard.
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